Ozzy, we hardly knew ye.
Sorry Ozzy, but you're not going to live with us anymore.
It's bad enough that you don't seem to really want to keep Chloe company. We could even sort of look past the shredded magazines and occasional piddling on the floor when excited. But chewing on the coffee table? No, that goes so far beyond the line that we can't even look past it.
It's totally ruined. I don't think wood filler, sanding, and re-staining will fix it either. (Shauna's optimistic, so we might give something a shot. Maybe.) We can't leave him out, so he's no good as company for Chloe. He doesn't make any connections between bad behavior and immediate punishment, going right back into the same behavior patterns. About the only things he does well are look cute and be affectionate.
We were going to see about giving him to Shauna's parents, but after this last incident, we're thinking "no way." Shauna's going to call the rescue organization tomorrow to see what we can do to give him back. They're gonna get a run-down of his problem behaviors as well, and I hope they'll have the scruples to make sure prospective adopters know about these trouble spots.
The lesson to be learned? Be wary when adopting "special needs" animals. You're stuck with fixing the last family's bad parenting.