I had the following conversation with a co-worker today:
Co-worker: Hey, uh…do you guys have a magical utility that emails reports? Something we don't know about?
Me: Yes. It also ejects Pop Tarts from the floppy drive, if you have one. Otherwise it spits Red Vines out of the unused USB ports.
Co-worker: Oh, sweet!!!!
Me: Oh, and the e-mail functionality is broken. But hey, Pop Tarts!