The other day when I posted about Nathan and his regression, I was truly overwhelmed by the outpouring of support I received from my friends and family. Just putting it all out there, I think, was a huge step in helping me to feel better. Like how the first step is always “acknowledgement”… I had never actually put all those thoughts together or really admitted to myself what I think they all might mean for our family and especially for Nathan. Now that I have, and gave myself a few days to cry and, frankly, be a little terrified about what our future might look like, I feel like I can get back in action mode and move on, focusing on where we are now and what our next steps are.
I can feel your prayers and positive thoughts and all the good vibes you are sending my way. Thank you so much, especially to those of you who have reached out to me through your supportive comments, emails, cards, and thoughtful gifts (you guys really are the sweetest!). Being the mom of special needs children can be a very lonely place sometimes. It has been wonderful to be reminded of all the people who love our little family, both near and far.
Most of all, I am thankful for the knowledge of eternal families. I know that families are forever and autism is not. My mom and I always joke that when we are reunited with Liam when this life is over, we will sit down with him and ask him to explain all the crazy things he did. It’s been kind of a running joke, but I really do imagine that I’ll be able to have some wonderful & meaningful conversations with my kids one day. It may not ever happen in this lifetime, but the moment will be all the sweeter for the waiting. My boys are so beautiful and special, I would wait a hundred lifetimes to know them. Lucky for me, I only have to wait the one.
I have not given up on Nathan speaking. That’s not what all this is about. I know that children progress at different rates and in their own time. He’s also got some other things going on (possible Celiac’s, maybe some other food allergies) and it’s possible that if we get those things under control, we may see some good progress. Those are the things I’m focusing on now. If Nathan even has the half of the issues we’ve dealt with with Liam, it will be an uphill battle, but I will continue to fight for these boys because they are mine, they are beautiful miracles, and they are worth fighting for.