The New Indicator of Marxist Tendencies
Last night, I asked Shauna for a sip of her Cherry Pepsi. She obliged and I remarked that, while it's good, I like Cherry Coke better. According to her, this means I'm a communist.
That flavor you're now tasting is irony.
I'm sorry but I like Pepsi much more than Coke.
That's because you're not a communist. See how easy the test is?
I like Coke better than Pepsi, but Diet Pepsi better than Diet Coke. So what am I?
I can't remember what Coke or Pepsi taste like, since I have had neither for about three decades. I'm not sure how this can be construed to translate into any kind of political statement.
Were you asking for a sip of Shauna's Pepsi at the movies while munching on popcorn? You may not be aware that Shauna does not like to share her drink at the theater. She has described herself in this situation as becoming "more and more resentful with every pilfered sip." I fear you may be a victim of this mountain of pent-up resentment — not actually a communist.
And I go: No mom I'm not on drugs I'm okay, I was just thinking you know, why don't you get me a Pepsi. And she goes: NO you're on drugs! Oh wait, that's Suicidal Tendencies. Nevermind.
Luckily for Jesse, we were not at the movies. We were at home. And he really did only have one little sip. I admit, I did watch him very carefully. But I didn't feel resentful. He stopped sipping at the exact right moment!
It must be love!