Don't send spam, m-kay?

Some map company in Arizona thought it would be funny to send me some spam the other day. Tonight, I did a little research and then responded.

Your e-mail to me has been sent in explicit violation of Arizona state statues, Title 44, Chapter 9, Article 16, Section 44-1372.01 (B) (1). Violation of this article is a Class 2 Misdemeanor. As such, you are required by state law to immediately submit to me a payment of ten (10) dollars as compensation as detailed in Section 44-1372.02 of the same Article.

This Article also entitles me to demand immediate removal from all future mailings and a prohibition on sharing my e-mail address with any other parties.

You may remit payment to the following address:

Jesse Harris
[REDACTED]

Failure to acknowledge my removal from your list and send compensation for damages as detailed in Section 44-1372.02 will lead to complaints with your state Attorney General, your local District Attorney for Maricopa County, your local Chamber of Commerce, the local Better Business Bureau, and all applicable state agencies.

If you're going to be dumb enough to send spam at least make sure you aren't breaking the law AND spamming someone who'll do the legwork to find out. By the way, this site gives a great breakdown of anti-spam laws by state. Go get 'em.

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7 Responses to Don't send spam, m-kay?

  1. Glen says:

    Now that is freaking awesome. I knew there was a reason that I worshiped the ground you walk on. 🙂
    Seriously I love the hear spammers get payback. It doesn’t happen to often.

  2. Brent says:

    Will you do us all a favor and let us know when that ten dollars arrives? And to echo Glen, that IS sweet, sweet payback!

  3. Jesse says:

    Oh, such notification will there be. Any suggestions on how to spend the money? I was thinking of something funny involving Spam (the canned meat), but I’d rather get something I enjoy.

  4. Shauna says:

    I think you should buy your wife something pretty.

  5. But not something pretty that’s also made out of Spam.

    Because that would be gross.

  6. Kipluck says:

    You can get MONEY for the Spam?! Wow. Ot DOES pay t be smart…

  7. Jason says:

    You mean SPAM statues like this ?

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